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My life would suck witthout you

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My life would suck witthout you

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I was giving head to this guy and i was so drunk and ended up throwing up on his dick and it smelt so bad. I think he thought that i had just dribbled or something as there wasnt much of it. i quickly grabbed a towel and wiped it off and carried on so he didnt expect anything… i wanted to die’


This is the most embarrassing story of my life… right so I had been fucking this guy for like years, fuck buddies if you will and for some strange reason we still are. Anyway, we’d done anal before and even though i fucking hate it the time we’d done it before was insanely good and i squirted everywhere so we were fucking and i asked him to fuck me in the arse and he put it in and i started to smell this disgusting smell… there was poo like everywhere and it was runny… FML i wanted to die.’


‘I was ridiculously drunk and walked around naked for some reason and ended up in bed with one of my best mates boyfriends. I was giving him head for ages and he was fingering me and the next thing i knew he said “here’s your tampon” and was holding a bloody tampon. AND THEN HE WENT DOWN ON ME… so he’s a freak and i need to remember whether im on or not before i fuck people.’


‘so we were having sex and he suddenly realised that the condom had disappeared. cue a very awkward ten minutes in which he had to attempt to fish it out, failing so many times that afterwards it was too painful to try again… i guess the moral of the story is never buy cheap/ ill fitting rubbers’


‘this guy was fingering me and he'd occasionally put his finger in his or my mouth and it was all very sexy but then tried to do it again and wasn’t really paying attention so he missed my mouth and put it up my nose, then i started laughing and snotted on his hand a bit’


i brought a girl back to mine one night, we did the deed and went to sleep. she woke me up about 4-5am for another go, she was on top kissing my neck when she realised she’d had a nosebleed. i switched the light on and there was claret everywhere, all down my face, ear and neck. never seen so much blood in my life.’


‘he accidentally went in my bum and my butt muscle broke the hell down (it hurt A LOT which it never has before) and there was some poop on his dick. I burst out laughing then started crying then left him alone to clean up and was then i depressed for months and everyone teased me :-( traumatising but I laugh about it now - 2 years on’


‘my friend told me one time he was having sex with a girl and he just shat everywhere, like he wasnt even in her bum. he was like 'i just asked if she wanted a shower and she did and i changed the sheets and we didnt say anything and just went to sleep’’


‘I was once sucking someone off and when he come, I choked and dribbled it all back out over his stomach. He laughed thankfully.’


‘I showed my boyfriend a picture of my hamster then he got hard and wanted to have sex right then.’